Words Like Grandma Frady

One thing I enjoy about parenting is watching the heart of my children as they grow and mature - having those special conversations when they tell you just exactly what is on their minds...what is weighing on them...the guilt they feel about not giving more time to God, etc.  Even though I don't like seeing them worried or stressed, my heart swells to hear them concerned about doing what is right.  I don't believe there are any other times in my life where I feel more proud.  They are giving their hearts to God and building the foundation that will carry them through their lives.

I am so blessed to have children that talk to me and tell me things.  I can especially sit and listen to hours of my oldest daughter tell me all the different conversations (text messages) she has with friends.  I enjoy hearing them!  However, it is amazing how badly it hurts as parents when someone says something, or does something that hurts their feelings.  I really think it is worse than when someone hurts my own feelings.  Having children truly is having your heart walking around outside your body!

It is amazing what impression someone can have in a life.  Grandma Frady (Charles' grandma...or for those that know us really well...the sponsor he had while we were growing up at Tipton Home) was one of those very rare individuals who allowed compliments to flow freely from her mouth.  I found it so amazing because it is something I have always struggled with.  I will never forget meeting her for the first time.  It was under uncomfortable circumstances because I was pregnant and Charles and I were not married yet.  I knew we were wrong and I was self-conscious about meeting her for the first time, having a belly growing quite obviously big!  She quickly laid my fears to rest! She was the sweetest, most accepting person I could have asked for.  She could have lectured Charles and me about what was right and wrong.  She could have looked at me with disdain, being in the predicament I was in.  I promise, if she had had any feelings negatively towards me, I would have felt it.  I would have been able to feel any looks to others, a tone in her voice, or her body language.  It wasn't there!  She was completely caring and accepting of me.

A special side not about Grandma Frady...    On that first trip to the farm, Grandma Frady made a chocolate cake.  It was the most moist cake I had ever eaten!  I loved it and I told her so.  You know, in the rest of the years I was blessed to have her in our lives, there was never a time we visited that she didn't make that specific cake for me!  In fact, we went to visit her for spring break the year she died.  After leaving on Thursday, she went into the hospital on Friday after falling.  When we returned to the farm for her funeral.  There was still the remnants of my special chocolate cake.

The most special thing about Grandma Frady was the special words that came from her mouth.  Every visit was filled with continual compliments about how I was raising the girls when they were little.  She didn't just say something one time.  She would repeat herself over and over.  Each time we left the farm, I felt like I had just been filled to the brim!  I felt so full; my confidence overflowing! I can't remember any other time in my life where I felt as good as when I had been at the farm with Grandma Frady.  Don't get me wrong, I have been blessed with many compliments in my life, but this was different.  It was just a continual feeding of them all day long...for each day we were there.

It is amazing the small little statements that can make an impression on children people.  One sentence can make such a difference in someone's life...either positively or negatively.  When my children tell me just one sentence of sarcasm from someone they care about, and how it hurt their feelings, it breaks my heart.  When looks are shared between others over something about them, they understand it.  They can read it, just like I could have read it if Grandma Frady had been unhappy with me.  They know.  Sometimes as adults we think we are hiding our expressions and children aren't going to pick up on it.  Don't be fooled...they see it...and they get it!  It is hurtful. 

Why is it so much easier to look for the bad in people sometimes?  Why do we only see what others need to correct instead of all the wonderful things in them already?  Or all the wonderful potential they have for the future?  I am an extremely proud mom of 3 wonderful young ladies!  Are they perfect?  Of course not!  Do they have ways they need to improve?  Of course!  (Don't we all?)  How about spending time telling our young people (and anyone else) the good things we see in them?  How about telling a teenage girl who is 17 how proud you are of her for keeping herself pure and not just dating any old guy who comes along?  How about telling young people that you are proud of them for wanting to teach a nursery class at church?  How about telling them you appreciate them dressing modestly instead of imitating other teenagers around them.  How about telling them how wonderful it is that they put on their Lord in baptism and are striving to serve Him?  How about when our young people are spending several weeks out of the summer at church camps and Christ-related activities, telling them to keep it up?  How about when they have found other close Christian teenage friends to bond with, telling them how great it is they are choosing friends that will help them get to heaven? 

We must be careful in the things we say.  Are we lifting one another up?  Are we encouraging people on our journey?  Let's have words like Grandma Frady!